Friday, July 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
There are moments in life in which we know that the winds of change are about to blow through our lives. When will these winds blow, and will that wind blow gently, or with hurricane strength? Even though I have known that they are coming, I am finding it difficult to accept. I am not prepared, I will never be ready.
I find myself sitting here, trying to figure that out. I am always the calm, cool, and strong one. This time I don't know if I can be that person.
There are emotions flowing through me, some are difficult to express, and some are right there, easily identified. Frustration is the foremost emotion. I see this happening, and there is nothing that I can do. I see my Mama's face as she talks to Daddy, her voice is gentle and she places her hand on his hand ever so gently. She is in the moment, dealing with Daddy and making decisions that he can't make now, doing the things for him that he can no longer do. He doesn't always express it verbally, but I see it in his eyes when we have to do something for him, it takes something away from him. We help him get up from his chair, because he physically can't get up by himself, even in the lift chair. We help him get to the table, because he may not remember where the table is, or why he is going there. We fix his dinner plate for him, because he no longer understands how to fix his plate. When he is finished we help him get back to his chair. We do the things that we can tell, and we do the things that we can't tell. His dignity is almost gone now, trapped in the fog called Alzheimer's. My Mama has done the majority of this, it is a daily ordeal for her. She watches the strongest, most amazing man alive deteriorate in front of her.
If Alzheimer's had an address I would gather an army, and go there, and we could stop it from hurting my family and every other family that has suffered. Not one person would ever have to suffer again from this disease. Not the people that I love, or the people that I don't know, not one person. I wish this on no one, it is too awful for words, and gives me the sickest feeling that I have ever had in my life. There are not enough adequate words to say all of the things that I want to say.
Admittedly, it hurts me deeply for Daddy, that few people will visit. Daddy has touched so many lives, he has done so much for so many. People that claim to love him, people that he has done so much for, people that have been the recipient of his kindness, choose not to visit. They are busy, or claim that it is too upsetting for them to see him, ( do these people think that we enjoy watching this? ) but the truth is that they have allowed selfishness to get in the way of visiting him. I want to tell them all, that this is not about you, this is about Daddy. Visit him while you can. Harsh words perhaps, but that is how I feel.
The time that we have to visit is growing shorter with each day. Yes, it is difficult to visit, but I would not stop going to see him for anything. Daddy would not stop coming to see me just because something had happened to me, and I will not stop going to see him. The love of this daughter for her Daddy is stronger than the love for myself. I am making it through each day, not on my own strength, but leaning on the Everlasting Arms of my Father. He has carried me this far, and He did not bring me this far to drop me. Without that strength, I could not go one breath further.
This rooster will be the first to go, his days are numbered. That decision has been made! It is now a matter of time.
We are hearing the juvenile crows of the two young roosters, battling to be the top rooster. The spraddle legged chick is the other rooster, and is not as aggressive as this guy is.
This guy is a Silver Laced Wynadott/Dominicker cross, and he is one of the chicks that came from our incubator. Does he remember that I am the first person that he saw? Does he remember that I held him and took his picture? Does he know what I will do if he tries to attack me?
Monday, July 25, 2011
Don't bother the star while she is eating. The life of a busy and famous goat can be stressful. There are pictures to pose for, adoring fans to greet, cookies that must be eaten, fan mail to answer, and decisions about her feed that must be made daily. Decisions like, should I eat the feed now, or wait until the lady goes back in the house? Do I need Facebook and Twitter accounts? Do I eat that handful of corn first, or the feed? Who will have tasty shoe strings today? Decisions, decisions, such is the life of a famous goat.
There is also the job of monitoring the events that take place daily in the chicken yard. Clover must know what is going on at all times, and don't think that she does not keep an eye on that broody hen! She will be the first to know if an egg hatches, or when the new girls lay their first egg. Clover keeps up with everything that happens in her territory.
Oh, the stress that Clover must endure. It is work being Clover. Please don't get the idea that it isn't, the life of a famous goat is not a life of lounging around eating and sleeping. It is hard work being Clover!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
It is done now. I have washed all of Gigi's laundry, her bowls have been cleaned and put away, her raincoat from the coat rack has been removed and her bed has been taken from the bedroom. So why don't I feel better now?
My heart keeps expecting to hear those tiny little footsteps, her snorts and whines, and her barks. One of the last things that I did at night, was to check on her before I got into bed, and night time does not feel right without doing that now.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Gigi was 4 years old in this picture. It was taken before the cataracts, and the other symptoms that go along with old age. I never thought about a time that I would not have her, sadly that time has come. I find myself waiting to hear her snorts, telling me that she is ready to get up in the mornings, and taking a shirt out for her to wear at bedtime, she was so cold natured, and got sick so easily. Gigi was tiny and fragile. How can such a tiny creature, leave such a big hole in my heart and life?
Friday, July 15, 2011
This is Whine-ita, and she is a whiner. Doesn't she look sweet, sitting, posing for a picture? Looks can be deceiving. Whine-ita is a one person cat, and I am her person. Look again at the picture and notice the cat in the background, she is peering into the rabbit pen.
Cats and rabbits are not supposed to be friends, but these are. Well, as friendly as they can get with wire between them. The 2 species seem to be fascinated by each other, but don't think that either will have the opportunity to get close to each other. I know what a cat can and will do to a rabbit, and don't plan to give these cats the opportunity to do more than watch.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Yesterday, our article was in the paper. Clover is famous now! Life with Clover will never be the same. There will be demands now, many, many, demands. The plain old cookies are no longer acceptable, she thinks that she deserves the special, gourmet, cookies. The Special Famous Goat Cookies are what she feels that she deserves. Forget the regular feed, she needs the Special Famous Goat Feed now. The name should be changed to Her Royal Highness, Queen Clover. Does she really think that she is getting a crown too? She can also forget the idea of a red carpet in her pen too.
The phone rang a good bit yesterday, and there were messages for Clover! One of those messages was from MY friend! Please pay no attention to the woman in the article, it is all about the goat. The goat that has allowed fame to go to her head!