Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Reason We Have Cats

There are people that know me, or feel that they know me, and consider me a “cat” person. Admittedly that irritates me. I am an animal person, not any particular species, but watching the dynamics of different species, and interacting with animals is fascinating! Learning about the jobs that they are created to do is intriguing, I could watch for hours as each species interacts with each other, and other animals. The dynamics, sense of “community”, and baby raising abilities fascinate and amaze me.
Cats have a purpose, and being a woman, I like that purpose!
Living in a home that is over a century old, surrounded by pecan orchards, fields, and woods, there must be cats here, or there will be mice. We knew when we moved here, that we would have to get a couple of cats. Kevin had a crystal clear realization of that fact, on the first cool fall morning that we had in this house.
It was a Saturday morning; he was resting peacefully and comfortably in bed. I had taken a shower, and pulled back the curtain, something caught my eye. I looked and the most horrible creature was squeezing under the bathroom door. There it was, an ugly, nasty, disease carrying rodent, with his filthy body was in my house, and had previously wondered what was on the other side of the door. Y’all just don’t know how huge he was, he was getting bigger with every millisecond that passed, until he appeared to be hundreds of feet long, and taller than me. Sounds unreal, but remember that I had told you that I had just pulled back the shower curtain, all that I had was a towel, the door was closed and he was in my space, and I was in a vulnerable position. He paused and looked up at me, I am sure that I saw his teeth, and the tips sparkled, letting me know that they were sharp. He smiled too, really big; he knew that I was scared.
Being a girl, I did what women are known for doing in this situation, and started screaming uncontrollably. Poor Kevin, resting peacefully in bed, woke to the sound of his wife’s ear piercing screams. I may not have been standing right there, but can imagine him there resting peacefully, he was probably smiling, and dreaming pleasant dreams, then hearing my screams, and struggling to jump up and run, poor fella. Because with his wife emitting those sounds, something life threatening must be happening, she must be in grave danger to scream like that! This was the moment that he realized, that if his wife survived whatever horrific ordeal that must be taking place in the bathroom, and he was within a 10 mile radius of her screams, he would be able to hear them.
The screams had an effect on the monster, and caused the monster to run around the bathroom, looking desperately for an escape to the horror that he was experiencing. The activity of the huge rodent, caused me to scream louder and longer. I was stuck, there in the shower, clinging to my towel, screaming, I couldn’t get out of the shower, because the monster was there, what if he attacked? I also screamed because while he was moving, he was touching things, spreading his germs over the no longer clean bathroom.
Kevin burst into the bathroom, I looked at him and demanded that Kevin, kill him, and kill him now! He rubbed his eyes and said that he would get rid of it. “No, kill it, make it die now, then get rid of it” was my reply. He grumbled something and then, he walked off to get a weapon, which made the creature run, which made me scream, which made Kevin return to the bathroom to explain that he needed something to kill it with. I am thinking possibly he should use a cannon, or a machine gun, maybe a grenade, and we don’t have those things, instead he picks up the mop outside of the bathroom door. The floor was clean, the bathroom had just been cleaned before the monster appeared.
“Oh no, I just bought that mop and I got it at Wal Mart, not the dollar store, you can’t use that mop” I said. By this time he is more than a little aggravated, he tells me to stop screaming for just a minute, and then says “do you want me to kill it or not”. What was the answer supposed to be? My brand new, used only once mop that cost more than a dollar was about to be sacrificed. Kevin lifted the mop and pounded the terrified monster, which began to shrink. When the dirty deed was completed, this tiny little creature was lying there. He was inches long, not feet. How did that happen? He was huge when I saw him emerge from under the door! I don’t know what kind of monster that was, but I don’t like monsters that do tricks like that!! Do I even need to add that I had to do the freak out cleaning that day, because where did it come from and what did it touch while it was in my house? I started crying and told him that we had to move, we couldn’t live like that, rodents are nasty and carry germs and diseases. I know that I was trying his patience that day, but he controlled himself, and told me that we were not moving. I couldn’t help it, I was upset. It was at that moment, that we decided that there would be a cat in our house before nightfall!
The first line of defense that we have in place now, is the barn cats. They can have all of the outside monsters. The second line of defense is Atticus. Atticus is a neutered cat man with a serious cat plan! Atticus is not a small cat, and he is determined to be the victor. There has been one field mouse that made the grave mistake of coming in the house. Atticus reserved all of his aggression for this mouse, for a split second, I almost felt sorry for it. Almost, but then I came to my senses, and remembered that horrible Saturday morning, the feeling passed immediately. This is the reason that we have cats. My love for animals is great, but my hatred for filthy, disease and germ carrying rodents that cause me to go into freak out cleaning mode and scream at the top of my lungs is stronger!

2 comments:

  1. Oh that's too funny! I don't freak too much over the mice around here. They stay that normal 2 inches. I freak over the bats with the 24 in wing span. Hubby trys to tell me each time one is in the house that it's not as big as I think it is. When it's swooping through my bedroom I don't believe him...

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  2. I would freak over the bats too! I will never not freak over a mouse, tiny or huge! They all look huge to me!

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