Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Revelation That Changed My Life

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Several months ago, while helping Mama clean up after a family meal, she revealed a secret that shook me to the core of my being. While I was putting the dishes in the dishwasher, she told me that a magazine article she read stated that the dishwasher should do most of the work. The dishes did not have to be perfectly clean before going into the dishwasher. Understand this, Mama always told me that the plates must be clean before placing them in the dishwasher. As a teen, I did not understand but the idea had stuck and followed me into adulthood.
This revelation caused my head to spin, my knees became weak, I was lightheaded and felt faint. My mind reeled with the knowledge that I had been right, but then the nausea set in and the thought was forgotten. I couldn't stand in Mama’s kitchen and put a plate in the dishwasher that was not clean. I tried, but the plate would not go in the dishwasher, it was if an invisible force field circled Mama’s dishwasher.
I went home and got the magazine out, read and reread the article, confirming Mama’s revelation. My head was spinning, and the nausea was returning. Sitting back I wondered what else she told me that may not have been correct.
Rinse you hair well after shampooing. Your face is going to freeze like that were things that she had said. I had to know, and decided that there was truth to the rinse your hair well thing. What about my face freezing, was this not possible too? Could it be true that my face will not freeze if I stick my tongue out? No, it will not freeze I realized. Think of the things that I missed out on because I did not want my face to freeze like that! I had even told my own child not to stick her tongue out for the same reason! Imagine trying to talk to Santa Claus with your tongue permanently stuck out; you’d get switches in your stocking for that one! It would be okay for suckers and ice cream, but it ends there. This knowledge has given me a different perspective on life.
Note to my daughter – Honey Girl, I mislead you; please understand that I too had been mislead. Go ahead baby; stick your tongue out if you choose. It’s okay, you don’t have to worry, your face will not freeze that way. I hope that you will choose not to stick your tongue out at people, but know that your face will not freeze like that. And most importantly Baby, leave those ketchup tracks on the plate, the dishwasher will get them off! The truth has been revealed, I knew it all along!


  1. HAHAHA so funny. That post reminds me of a story I read in an article somewhere...
    Husband watched his wife cut off the top of the ham before putting it in the oven. He asked why she did such a thing.
    She said my mom always did, so I do it.
    He asked his mother in law later that week. Hey, why do you cut the top of your ham off before you cook it?
    Why that's how my Mama did it, so I do it.
    A few weeks later the family was together for a dinner and the husband brought up the subject to his wife's grandmother. Why did you cut the top of your ham off when you cooked it?
    The grandmother looked at him with a puzzled expression. Well, back then, I had a really small oven so I couldn't fit a whole ham in with out it touching the top of the oven so I just sliced off the top to make room.

  2. Good story! I like that! But I still can't put a dish in her dishwasher without cleaning it first!


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