Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I have been good and this picture is proof. I have not climbed this tree one time, nor have I played with any of the ornaments. I have however been hard at work guarding this tree from attacks by Abigail or Riley. There is also the possibility that someone may try to harm this tree and I could be blamed. I am guarding the tree to prevent such attacks.

There are rumors going around that I am mischievous and I would like to take a moment to explain. The tree attack last year was not my fault, I was merely inspecting the tree to make sure that nothing harmful was hiding inside. I was blamed for the missing tree piece that was found. Not one person in this house has bothered to thank me for keeping them safe. There are also rumors that I weigh 5,000 pounds, that is also not true, it just feels like I weigh that much when I walk on someone.

The incident involving the broken dish that made my Mom cry, well I deny everything. It should not have been in my way, that is all that I have to say about that. I did not tear the screen on the back door, it was not strong enough to hold my weight, so I am not responsible. The missing piece of fried chicken was not my fault, an intruder came in our home, fortunately I chased him away. The crumbs that remained on my whiskers were there because I am a vicious cat and I was attacking the chicken, I mean intruder.

So Santa, it is easy to see that I have been very good this year, and I deserve special presents. Thanks in advance for your understanding in this matter, and for the special presents that I will be receiving.



P.S. That incident last year with the reindeer was not my fault, I personally blame the dog. You should give me all of her presents.
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