Saturday, August 11, 2012

Today's Blessing

Each day, you have many choices to make. I am an Alzheimer's daughter, I could make the choice to be sad and cry all of the time. Admittedly I do cry, but tears will not control my life. Each day that I visit, I decide to look for that little piece of Daddy that is still there, that is a choice that I freely make. The rewards are amazing! Some days it is a challenge to find them, however I appreciate those pieces more when they are a challenge to discover.


 
Daddy and me

When you find that seemingly insignificant tiny piece, you know that it was a gift! Today Daddy looked at me and he spoke my name! That was my first blessing today, when I left he looked at me and said "be careful". When I was a teen, I hated it, as a young adult it was silly, now it is a blessing!!! I am overjoyed when he says that to me now.


 
Daddy and me

Daddy has blue eyes, and when he smiles, they twinkle! Most days, he does not smile, but if we can get a smile, I want to shout! I took that lovely smile for granted most of my life. Now, it is a reason to rejoice when I see it!
If I made the choice to spend my days crying and being sad, I would miss those little pieces of Daddy that make my heart sing!


 
Posted by PicasaDaddy and Mama


This morning, I carried his coffee to him, he did not smile, but he said "thank you". He took a swallow and said "coffee is good". I smiled and agreed with him, I was happy to sit next to my Daddy while he drank his morning coffee. He looked out of the window and watched the hummingbirds coming to the feeder. He was peaceful and seemed content to just sit there and watch the morning sights while enjoying his coffee. I was content, my heart knows that these moments will come to an end quicker than I would like, and I cherish each one.
There is a regret, I wish that I had kept a journal of every visit, and recorded what piece of Daddy that I received as a blessing today. I will not spend my time mourning that regret though. Today was a good day and I am grateful for the pieces of Daddy that I got to see today!!!

14 comments:

  1. Melanie,

    Continue to be greatful for every moment you have!

    Thank you for sharing this difficult journey.

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    1. Each moment is a gift, I have to decide how to view and use these gifts. Thank you!!!!

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  2. Melanie what a sweet and touching post. I agree, look for the blessings no matter how small. I know a tiny bit of what you are going through. My MIL had bad dimentia a few years before passing. It is sometimes difficult to see someone who was so intelligent not even know whether or not they were upstairs or down. We too loved the days that she was the 'old Bonnie'.
    Hugs,
    Jann

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    1. Yes Jann, it is difficult and frustrating to watch this brilliant man in his curent condition, but those good little pieces are worth looking for! Thanks Jann, and I am sorry that you and your family have had to experience this! Thanks for visiting!!!

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  3. What a good attitude you have! Wishing you and your Dad more good days.

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    1. Thank you Sandy!!! My attitude must remain positive, or I will miss the good things that are there! Thanks fpr visiting!!!

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  4. God bless you Melanie...I have never had to go through this and if I do I hope and pray to keep a positive attitude as you have. Thank you for sharing this difficult time in your life.

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    1. Thank you Linda!!! I hope that you never have to go through this either!!! I choose to be as positive as possible, if I am negative I will miss out on those wonderful glimpses of the real Daddy!!! It is not easy sometimes, and it takes effort on my part, but the rewards are priceless!!

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  5. Thank you for sharing this. It is a good thing to practice with anyone we love who is going through a difficult time.

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    1. Yes Nonnie, it is!!! Thanks for visiting!!!

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  6. Melanie, I am so sorry that your dad has Alzheimer's. I have an uncle dealing with a condition similiar to Alzheimer's so I know how sad it is to watch their decline. You are lucky to have wonderful memories of life with your dad but I wish for you more "good" days with him. God bless....... Shannon

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    1. I am sorry for your uncle Shannon. It is difficult, but I do have those wonderful memories!!! Thank you for your kind wishes!!! I always hope for more good days too!!! Thanks for visiting!!!

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  7. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. You are such an amazing woman. I've never had to experience what you are going through, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be. You are handling it with such grace. Your father is so fortunate to have you by his side. You are an inspiration.

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    1. Peggy, I am not deserving of your kind words!!! I guess that I desperately want to hang on to any goood thing, no matter how small, that I will look so very hard to find it. It is a sink or swim mentality, and I can't spend his final days greiving. Alzheimer's is no respector of persons, none of us are immune. Every 70 seconds another person develops this disease, the cost of this disease is staggering, we need a cure and we need it now!!!!! Sadly that cure will come too late for Daddy, but there are so many that would benefit. Thank you for your kind words! If I write something that helps anyone cope with this disease better, then I am pleased beyond words!!! Thank you again Peggy, your words have lifted my spirits today!!!!!

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