Early last Monday morning Daddy went home. Mama was sitting beside him as the angels carried him home. He left peacefully and quietly. We have spent years saying goodbye, but still my heart longs for one more time to talk to him.
My head has complete understanding of what has happened my little girl heart is another thing. My little girl heart is still waiting for Daddy to come through the door just one more time. It waits for the times that Daddy stood outside on the porch looking at the stars that shone on a black velvet canvas, twinkling like diamonds and appeared to be so close that you could reach out and grab one. My hands long to slip into his hand, and feel the familiar squeeze. My ears want to hear him talk just one more time.
The last time that I saw those beautiful blue eyes was Saturday morning. He opened those eyes, and tried to speak to me, the words would not come. I talked to him and he looked at me and winked. That wink spoke volumes to me, and I will treasure that memory. It was his last gift to me.
Daddy is at peace now. The demon called Alzheimer’s may have won that battle, but Daddy won the war. There are some things that the demon can’t claim, and Heaven is a place that the demon is not allowed to enter. I told my Daddy that I would see him later, without the presence of the demon.
Unbelievably there are still so many tears left uncried. Tears for his suffering, tears for my family’s suffering, tears for what we have lost, tears for a future without his wisdom to guide me, and tears cried for joy because his suffering has ended.
My little girl heart waits to see him again. I will slip my hand into his and we will have a different view of those stars. Until then I will hold onto the precious memories he has left behind. I will attempt to follow in the footsteps he left for us. I will remember the advice given to me, and I will laugh at every cornball joke that he would have liked. I will remember that there are things that the beast can’t steal and cherish those things, and yes, sometimes I will cry.
I love you Daddy, I’ll never stop and I’ll see you later.