Monday, December 17, 2012

Monday Musing - Peace for My Sweet Daddy

 
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Early last Monday morning Daddy went home. Mama was sitting beside him as the angels carried him home. He left peacefully and quietly. We have spent years saying goodbye, but still my heart longs for one more time to talk to him.

My head has complete understanding of what has happened my little girl heart is another thing. My little girl heart is still waiting for Daddy to come through the door just one more time. It waits for the times that Daddy stood outside on the porch looking at the stars that shone on a black velvet canvas, twinkling like diamonds and appeared to be so close that you could reach out and grab one. My hands long to slip into his hand, and feel the familiar squeeze. My ears want to hear him talk just one more time.

The last time that I saw those beautiful blue eyes was Saturday morning. He opened those eyes, and tried to speak to me, the words would not come. I talked to him and he looked at me and winked. That wink spoke volumes to me, and I will treasure that memory.  It was his last gift to me.

Daddy is at peace now. The demon called Alzheimer’s may have won that battle, but Daddy won the war. There are some things that the demon can’t claim, and Heaven is a place that the demon is not allowed to enter. I told my Daddy that I would see him later, without the presence of the demon.

Unbelievably there are still so many tears left uncried. Tears for his suffering, tears for my family’s suffering, tears for what we have lost, tears for a future without his wisdom to guide me, and tears cried for joy because his suffering has ended.

My little girl heart waits to see him again. I will slip my hand into his and we will have a different view of those stars. Until then I will hold onto the precious memories he has left behind. I will attempt to follow in the footsteps he left for us. I will remember the advice given to me, and I will laugh at every cornball joke that he would have liked. I will remember that there are things that the beast can’t steal and cherish those things, and yes, sometimes I will cry.

I love you Daddy, I’ll never stop and I’ll see you later.

 

8 comments:

  1. My little girl heart is breaking with yours, I too lost my daddy, just a six weeks ago. My heart goes out to you and your family.. Praying you will be comforted in the knowledge and the hope of being reunited with him shortly. I was with my daddy when the angels came to take him away and rejoice that I know where he now is, and that there is no more pain or suffering that can touch him.
    blessings to you
    Nell

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    1. So sorry that you understand Nell. That is awesome that you were there! Yes, knowing where he is makes me have different feelings, I will miss him, but know where he is and know that there is no pain, suffering and no Alzheimer's demon!!! Thank you Nell!!!!

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  2. Oh Melanie..... I'm with you and I understand... your feelings... only mine is husband and not daddy. I want to thank you for your expression of your feelings of your dad.... it really helps me to understand how our daughter is struggling and feeling right now.
    I praise God that Alzheimer's is gone... but it sure would be wonderful if it would have never been here to begin with...
    Hugs,

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    1. Yes, you understand, so many times I have read your words and thought about my own Mama. I know that the feelings are different, there is a difference in how you feel about your Daddy and your mate, so those feelings of loss are different as well. My daughter is heartbroken and I told her that there is a difference between losing a granddaddy and a daddy. It all hurts, but it is a different kind of hurt.

      Yes, praise God that the demon is gone now, and yes, it would have been wonderful if the demon had never entered our lives! A cure just can't come fast enough!! So many are suffering, families and victims. Hugs to you my sweet friend, you remain in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

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  3. Beautiful post. I shall pray for you and your family.

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    1. Thank you Michelle, we very much appreciate your prayers!!!

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  4. I'm so sorry for your loss, Melanie. A daughter's love for her daddy can be such a special thing. xo

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    1. You are so right Nancy!! It is special!!! Thank you so very much Nancy!!!

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