Monday, June 17, 2013

A First Father's Day Without Daddy

 
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This is an old watch of Daddy's. It's as if time just stopped, oh how I wish that it could for those moments that we want to cherish. Yesterday was Father's Day and of course he was on my mind all day. I made it through yesterday, even as it was difficult. Yesterday is now history and for that I am grateful.

There was not a column in the paper yesterday, What was there to say? Below is last year's article.


This Father’s Day brings a feeling that I find difficult to put into words. Daddy’s body is still here, and sometimes those bits and pieces of Daddy make their way to the surface.

My heart believes that my Daddy is the best Daddy in the world. Daddy has spent a lifetime creating memories that will be carried with us for the rest of our lives. My heart churns with deep feelings as I write this, and the tears flow freely.

Daddy was not born into a family of worldly wealth; their assets were of a different variety. Music was part the family gift, it was merely second nature. Daddy sang beautifully, and now sometimes I sit beside him and we sing. That beautiful voice still rings out with lyrics that remain somewhere deep in his heart. Sometimes I am able to bring these songs out, and other times the songs remain hidden.

The memories of the jokes that we shared comes forward in my memory. His sense of humor, such that it was, is a gift he gave to me. We shared jokes that may have been considered corn ball jokes by some, but we shared laughter and good times over these jokes.

The memory of a beach vacation is fresh. We walked along the beach as a family. I walked behind Daddy, trying to step in the foot prints that he left in the sand. My short legs struggled to keep up with his steps. It was how I have lived, struggling to keep up with him, and attempting to walk as he did. It was a standard that I have rarely been able to meet, but continue to strive for.

The memories are numerous, and I am grateful for each one. The opportunity to make new memories is quickly disappearing. I am able to sit beside him. I greet him, he says “Hey Shugga” or “Hey Baby” and I slip my hand into his, he gently squeezes my hand and smiles.

Daddy will not read this, but I thank you for being the Daddy that you have been to me. Thank you for leaving your footprints to follow. Unless I too succumb to the Alzheimer’s beast, I will remember these things for you. Happy Father’s Day Daddy, you are the best Daddy a girl could have had and I am still trying to walk in your footsteps!

4 comments:

  1. Your memories of your Dad are sweet. It is a great treasure to have memories of a dad like him. So few ever know the special love of a Dad like that. How your heart aches missing him. Their hearts must surely ache for having never known such love. It is a wonderful thing that you remember your Dad so sweetly and honor him. I won't try to tell you that it gets easier, but I do know God heals the brokenhearted and the scars that are left are reminders of that love.

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  2. Thank you for your kind words Nonnie. I will remember your words about the scars. Thank you for visiting and leaving such thoughtful words.

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  3. This is beautiful, Melanie. My dad passed away when I was 8 years old. As the years go on, my memories are more like old faded photos. I was so young and he was so sick for the years before he died that there are very few memories for me to hold onto. I wish he could have been here long enough for me to have gotten to know him better and had a chance to make more memories with him. I do know that he loved and cherished my brother and me. The comment from Nonnie reflects my sentiments; she said it so well, I have nothing to add. My thoughts are with you.

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    1. Thank you friend. Your comment brought tears to my eyes! Nonnie did say it well! Thank you Peggy, and thank you for visiting.

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