Monday, May 19, 2014

A Monday Musing - Life is Fragile

The Monday Musings usually appear in our local paper before appearing here. This week is different, this column has not appeared in the paper.
 
Last week, my 44 year old brother had a massive heart attack. He is the health nut in the family. His recovery has been slow, but a slow recovery is better than no recovery!
 
This makes me think about so many things. What if it were my husband? How can this happen to someone so healthy and strong? What are my brother's chances of having another one? What are the chances that my youngest brother could suffer one? What about the children, what are their chances? The list of questions seems endless. The answers are more difficult. Life is short and precious. We never know when it will be taken away.
 
Last week, as we rushed out of town to be with family, I called my daughter and asked if she wanted us to pick her up. We were almost involved in a wreck, as we turned onto her street, but fortunately my husband was able to avoid a collision. We narrowly missed a deadly accident. Life is indeed precious!
 
The past week has been spent dealing with family and friends wanting updates. It has been overwhelming, rarely leaving a moment to myself. The end of the day finds me exhausted and not wanting to talk to anymore. Some have gotten angry because they feel that I haven't given them daily updates as quickly as they would have liked, but these same people lack the understanding that I am not able to sit for 2 hours at a time to discuss the "what if"s of the situation. They don't mean harm to me, they are concerned for my brother, but fail to realize the emotional toll this takes on the rest of the family. The concern of others for my brother has been appreciated, but difficult for us to deal with. We are all exhausted physically and emotionally. Keeping everyone updated has been a task that I have failed. There simply has not been enough of me to go around. I don't apologize for that.
 
The situation has been compounded by the fact that I haven't been able to be there for 5 days now. He is my brother and I can't be there, that is more difficult than I can express. He is however recovering and for that I am grateful. His life was spared. When he got up last Tuesday morning, he probably had no idea that he would suffer a massive heart attack and end up in I.C.U. His life almost ended. He will come to realize how close he came to not being here with us anymore. He will learn that life is fragile and precious.
 
I haven't been able to visit you like I wanted, but I will get there! I have missed my friends in blogland!
 
 
 

19 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, Melanie! I'll keep your brother and you and your family in my prayers. I know 17 years ago when my dad was in a horrible car accident that took his life in 3 months, I went through the same thing as you. Not alot of my relatives had computers and expected me to call them each night with updates on him. I thought I was going to collapse! I know how it is...folks mean well but they don't realize how this pulls you apart! Don't forget to take care of yourself, if you can. I'm glad he is improving!
    Blessings,
    Shelia ;)

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    1. Thank you Shelia! It makes me feel better to know that someone understands. I know that they mean me no harm, but sometimes I don't want to talk at all by the time evening gets here. They mean well and are concerned. Thank you so much for visiting and leaving such a kind comment!

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  2. Sending prayers for your brother and so you too get some rest. It's very stressful to repeat yourself all the time, we've gone through that in the past few months. You don't feel like talking at all sometimes. I'm so glad he made it and that all the siblings can get checked to make sure they are not candidates for health issues too.

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    1. Thank you Kathy! Yes, it is a blessing that we can all get checked for this issue and that he is able to recover! There are blessings here if we choose to look for them in spite of the bad situation. Thank you for your visit, your prayers and comment!

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  3. Praying for you & yours. Hope your brother continues to improve. Life is indeed short.

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    1. Thank you friend! Your prayers and comment are appreciated! Thank you for visiting!

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  4. You are so right, life is fragile and we truly do not know what the next minute will bring - cherish the moments.

    Your brother will be in my prayers as he continues to recover. Thinking of you and praying for you as well, sweet friend!

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    1. Thank you Stephanie! I appreciate your caring comment so much, thank you for visiting and for remembering us in prayer at this time!

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  5. Melanie-
    I had no idea! I am glad that your brother is recovering. You are so right. He was spared. As were you and your husband while driving. God's hand is divine. He leads. And I don't have to tell you that "He gives and He takes away..." Life is so very short and fleeting--and we do NOT have to time to think about the "what ifs".
    But...if we are alive, we can say 'Thank You' and trusting Him during times like these is helped when we CAN SAY... "...though He slay me, yet will I trust him."
    You will be encouraging to your family-- stay strong my friend.
    Pat

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    1. Yes, He does give and take away. I have felt that I just can't waste time with the many "what if's", if I do that then I will miss out on the opportunity to live in the "right now" and waste precious time. Thank you for those encouraging words Pat! They were needed this morning! Thank you for visiting!

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  6. What a scary thing to have happen to your family. I am glad that your brother is recovering. Things like that make us take stock, does it not? Wish you well always.

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    1. Yes it does make you take stock! We have and have realized many things. There are blessings in this horrible situation if we take the time to look for them. Thank you for your comment and your concern! Caring people make the difference! Thank you for visiting!

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  7. Dear Melanie, I am so sorry to read your young brother had a heart attack and so glad he is recovering and will be well again. It really does make one think that at any time we could be facing our last day. Prayers for your brother for a return to good health. Also for you sweet friend. Take care of you and what is most important right now.
    Sending hugs and prayers your way.
    XO

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    1. Thank you so much! It does make you think about so many things, especially appreciating the life you have been given! Thank you again friend, I appreciate your kind words and your prayers!

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  8. Oh, what a scary thing...I'm so glad your brother is recovering. And I hope his recovery will go smoothly and without any complications. Here's something I read quite some time ago: when someone in the family is ill, change your message on your answering machine to updates on the patient. That way, when someone calls, they can get the latest info and you won't have to repeat it so many times. Might not be an option for you with this situation, but it's something to keep in mind!

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    1. Thank you Dianna! We are glad that he is recovering too! It could have been a very different story, we almost didn't have him! Love the answering machine idea!!! It is difficult to continue to repeat the same story repeatedly. I know that people are concerned and mean NO harm, but it does wear you out. Thank you for sharing that idea, I will use it! Thank you!

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  9. Melanie I am so happy your brother is recovering. I have coronary disease. In 2005 I had a heart event and was rushed to the hospital and had a coronary stent put in the back of my heart. I was 53. I did not have a massive heart attack like your brother but recovery and cardiac rehab, med support and testing all help us to live with this disease. Saying prayers for a speedy recovery for your brother and prayers of comfort for his family and you.

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    1. There are many things to be grateful for and you have mentioned a few! We are fortunate to have these things that help those with the disease continue to live!! I. for one am grateful for these advances that keep the ones we love here with us and allow us to meet those that we did not know lived with the disease! Thank you friend for your prayers! They are appreciated as well as the opportunity to get to know you and call you friend!.

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  10. I am sorry for your brother, positive side my Dad suffered a massive heart attack at 50 lived for almost 30 years more, a friends father also a friend of mine was 41 he didn't die of a heart failure at 81 but from liver failure due to a infected blood transfusion in the late '70's, having worked in an Emergency room for 30 years we saw a number of young men and women having heart attacks, most of them would come back to say Hi from time to time..they all survived decades and that was before medicine became so finesse with their post attack care-I hope you are taking care of yourself, updates aside all of those well meaning people will be fine without them. Prayers for your brother.

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