The Monday Musings usually appear in our local paper before appearing here. This week is different, this column has not appeared in the paper.
Last week, my 44 year old brother had a massive heart attack. He is the health nut in the family. His recovery has been slow, but a slow recovery is better than no recovery!
This makes me think about so many things. What if it were my husband? How can this happen to someone so healthy and strong? What are my brother's chances of having another one? What are the chances that my youngest brother could suffer one? What about the children, what are their chances? The list of questions seems endless. The answers are more difficult. Life is short and precious. We never know when it will be taken away.
Last week, as we rushed out of town to be with family, I called my daughter and asked if she wanted us to pick her up. We were almost involved in a wreck, as we turned onto her street, but fortunately my husband was able to avoid a collision. We narrowly missed a deadly accident. Life is indeed precious!
The past week has been spent dealing with family and friends wanting updates. It has been overwhelming, rarely leaving a moment to myself. The end of the day finds me exhausted and not wanting to talk to anymore. Some have gotten angry because they feel that I haven't given them daily updates as quickly as they would have liked, but these same people lack the understanding that I am not able to sit for 2 hours at a time to discuss the "what if"s of the situation. They don't mean harm to me, they are concerned for my brother, but fail to realize the emotional toll this takes on the rest of the family. The concern of others for my brother has been appreciated, but difficult for us to deal with. We are all exhausted physically and emotionally. Keeping everyone updated has been a task that I have failed. There simply has not been enough of me to go around. I don't apologize for that.
The situation has been compounded by the fact that I haven't been able to be there for 5 days now. He is my brother and I can't be there, that is more difficult than I can express. He is however recovering and for that I am grateful. His life was spared. When he got up last Tuesday morning, he probably had no idea that he would suffer a massive heart attack and end up in I.C.U. His life almost ended. He will come to realize how close he came to not being here with us anymore. He will learn that life is fragile and precious.
I haven't been able to visit you like I wanted, but I will get there! I have missed my friends in blogland!