Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Mrs. B

Mama called Monday and told me something that scared me. Mama had talked to a high school teacher of mine that reads my column. My mind raced and I began to sweat. I felt like I was in school again, my weekend date was about to be canceled because I was grounded and there would be no phone calls for me. What had I done all of those years ago?
Time passed slowly, milliseconds seemed like hours. What happened and did I really do it? Where were Todd and Brad when I needed them? Wait, they are younger and wouldn’t have been in my class, so I can’t blame them. My heart raced knowing that I was in trouble. How would I explain to the Home Office that I was grounded from the telephone? Would my boss understand? Would Mama call them and explain the situation? Would the mailman still speak to me? How will Atticus feel about me once the awful truth is revealed?
This was not looking good. My head hung and I drew a ragged breath, waiting for Mama to finish the story. Mama told me that my teacher was at Church for Homecoming this past Sunday, and they sat at the same table to eat, no good comes from your Mama talking to your high school teacher. Time stood still, the birds stopped singing, my office became silent, and the world was waiting to hear about the trouble I was in.
Mama told me that my teacher reads this column. My mind began scanning past columns searching for my misbehavior. Mama said that Mrs. B enjoys my columns. Relief washed over me and the lump in my throat disappeared. Maybe I wasn’t grounded and phone privileges remained. The realization that there is no date this weekend anyway and maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be grounded from the phone brought me back to reality.

Maybe it is possible for good things to come from your Mama talking to your high school teacher. The thought of getting grounded and staying home for the whole weekend is appealing. Adulthood calls, reminding me of all the tasks that must be accomplished during those weekends.  Youth is wasted on the young; they simply don’t understand that being grounded is a privilege they will long for when they are older. It sounds like a mini vacation. Please Mama ground me now!

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Bless Your Heart

Well bless your heart! Wouldn’t you like to have a nickel for every time you have heard that one? It is common to hear around here. You have probably heard it a number of times and may have said it.  We can all think of someone that needs a good heart blessing.
Bless your heart has numerous meanings. When someone has gone through tragedy or loss we say that to them to let them know we are able to sympathize or often empathize with them. We share those words in an attempt to console.

My Daddy often said “Bless your lil ol pea picking heart”. I heard that one a number of times and that is all that I have to say about that one. Sometimes it is a greeting when you haven’t seen someone in awhile, it is then used as a term of endearment. It is a cause for concern when someone says “bless their hearts” and “help my time” together. Mama said that often, of course my brothers were the cause, but y’all probably knew that. It was usually followed by an “I suwanee”.

Heart blessing is somewhat of a southern art form. The art of receiving the blessing is just as much of an art form as well. One must know the particulars of how and when to bless a heart as well as how to receive the heart blessing. Heart blessings should not be handed out for just any old thing! Mamas are especially good heart blessers and mine is no exception. She can bless a heart before you can bat an eyelash. Mama blessed our hearts numerous times especially after we had gotten hurt. She has blessed the hearts of family, friends, and those in need for as long as I can remember. Mama knows how and when to bless a heart.

Perhaps one day I will become a seasoned heart blesser just like my Mama and my Gran. They took the art form to another level, leaving the rest of us simply hoping to achieve their status. I can hope and try and then maybe one day I will be a seasoned heart blesser.

There are those that don’t understand that there are different meanings behind the phrase. These same people do not know how and when to suwanee. Seasoned heat blessers just simply look at them and say “bless their hearts, they just don’t understand”.